Doing Any of These 7 Things Makes Me Feel Like a Fashion Victim
You shouldn't ever call someone else a fashion victim, but you all have good manners, so I'm sure you wouldn't. We all have our own individual tastes and driving forces behind what we choose to wear; however, I can definitely understand the feeling of falling foul to the whims of fashion when it comes to my own choices. There are certain trends I've tried and regretted—trends I see myself wearing in old photographs and can't help but wince at. What could I possibly have been thinking?
One person's faux pas is another's fashion glory, so where the archetypal fashion victims (Edina and Patsy) may have supposedly embarrassed themselves in front of their peers throughout season upon hilarious season of Absolutely Fabulous, there's no denying these two had a hoot while doing it. They both established their respective style DNAs (no matter how random the formulas may be), and if you look closely enough, you'll see some uncanny correlations between their ensembles then and what's of-the-moment now.
But I've taken a detour (because I recently fell into an archival Ab Fab hole) from telling you what is it that makes me feel like a fashion victim. Well, all of the below points are included on my personal shame list, yet all of them seem to be no match for celebrities. These famous ladies can wear sunglasses at night and not be laughed at or fall over a bollard. They can choose to wear the highest of heels because either their magical feet can carry them with ease, or their bodyguards can. Keep reading to see the fashion things that never fail to make me wish the ground would swallow me up.
1. Wearing Band Tees When I Don't Love (or Even Know) the Band
I'm not one to pass judgment on whether Romee Strijd is a big Guns N' Roses fan, but we all know that wearing a band tee when you can't at least name an album is poor form. We've all done it too. During my teenage years, I tried so hard to make my love for crowd-dividing bands like Slipknot or Nine Inch Nails a reality, but no T-shirt could ever make me actually illegally download a song and listen to a full three minutes. Should you want to pass me a Spice Girls crewneck now, I'd happily wear it in a heartbeat. That's who I am, and that's okay.
2. Thinking I Have to Wear New and/or Expensive Pieces to Look Good
Even royalty knows that re-wearing clothes and hitting up the high street for a gem or two can really pay off. I'm sure that feeling of needing to spend, spend, spend is as prevalent in other circles as it is in fashion ones. In the future, before you buy something for the sake of buying it, just think, What would Markle do?
3. Anything Nude, Sheer, or Revealing
Bella Hadid can get away with basically dressing as a fembot in a sheer, nude bodystocking, but if I put on a relatively low-cut top, I feel too panicked to be out in public.
4. Buying Something Because Everyone Else Has It
We've all been lured in like this before, right? It's very easy to get carried away with "must-haves," but I have a rule that helps keep things calm: If it's still just as alluring a couple of months' time, then buy it.
For example, right now, Kendall Jenner and a host of street style stars are wearing Prada's utility vest bags, but I can see the trend spiraling quickly. (Also, I'm pretty sure my boobs wouldn't thank me for getting involved.)
5. Wearing Sunglasses at Night
Madonna can wear anything—she's Madonna! But seriously, if I wore sunnies in the dark, I'd either fall over or be labeled a numpty forever more. It's a bit try-hard when you're not a celeb, but whatever floats your party boat…
6. Choosing Heels That Are Too High for Actual Walking
Super stilettos might be ideal for Cardi B (she does have two bodyguards, after all), but they're not so ideal for me on a wet day pounding the pavement. I decided long ago, after injuring my foot in a pair, that the ultra-glam high-sandals route was not for me.
7. Adopting a Trendy Look That Isn't My Vibe
Kim Kardashian West and her daughter North are certainly not scared of tackling the latest trends head-on, no matter how mad they might seem. I, on the other hand, feel like I'll come down with a rash should I step close enough to athleisure—or neon, for that matter. Neon athleisure would probably be the end of me.
It's good to experiment with your personal style (especially when you're not quite sure what it is yet), but never wear clothes that aren't "you." I always feel at my most comfortable wearing the tried-and-tested looks that have remained in my wardrobe for over a decade.
This post originally appeared on Who What Wear UK.